I love French holidays.

I know, a lot of posting in one day doesn't make up for a month of neglect. However, I wanted to post this so Laura and Lisa know what's coming a year from this thanskgiving: we're going to have a Catherinettes outing. According to this American in Paris, Le Jour des Catherinettes is "an old French tradition for girls who are 25 and, GASP!, still single." I know Lisa will be able to make a knockout green and yellow hat (a la these beauties), and we'll have a blast in sleepy-old Auburn... in two years.

From Fark: custom coffins. I can embrace custom-made coffins of unusual style, but I find it alarming how much this gynecologist loves his job. I wanted to be clever or funny and say what I could be buried in, but I can't think of anything I like well enough to want a huge version of it. Also, what would future civilizations assume about someone buried in a giant rooster or fish? Those will really throw future archaeologists for a loop.

Did you know that Oklahoma was not the only midwestern state to be immortalized in a Rodgers and Hammerstein musical? Iowa is another lucky state (there could be more, I'm no expert). State Fair is so-so, but I liked the Iowa-ness. The state-referencing song is not quite as singable as Oklahoma!, but it's pretty darn good. Just try saying that chorus quickly (and pronounce it Io-way in the song).

Oh I know all I owe I owe Iowa
I owe Iowa all I owe and I know why
I am Iowa born and bred
And on Iowa corn I'm fed
Not to mention barley, wheat and rye.

I owe Iowa for her ham,
And her beef, and her lamb
And her strawberry jam
And her pie.

I owe Iowa more than anyone should owe
So I think I'll start in owing Idaho.

...
Good times. Do you think they were hungry when they wrote this song? The best part is that in the end, the daughter of the family gets to marry and move off to Chicago. At least in the musicals, people eventually escape Iowa. It should give hope to Heather and myself.

Chandler: Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream.

Ross: Ah, the lesser known "I Don't Have a Dream" speech.

It snowed while I was gone:



Can't say I'm very happy to be back. It was 52 degrees when I left Atlanta, 12 when I landed in Moline, and 2 when I finally got back to Iowa City by greyhound. Brr.

I'm missing all the fun! I better get to see at least 14 inches of snow when I get back, or I'll be so disappointed. Sure, it's nice that it's over 70 here, but I was so looking forward to the first snow.

What I did on my Christmas break (so far):
1. Got my parents' tivo set up.
2. Watched movies (via tivo and Hastings).

Rankings from my movie spree
1. Rope (Jimmy Stewart, Alfred Hitchcock) - very good. I see now why my mom didn't like Murder By Numbers. It's a rip off of Rope with similar plot elements but none of the charm. The AMC guy pointed out it was filmed to look like a continuous shot (with two intentional exceptions). It's fun to watch for the tricks they used to allow edits without stopping the camera movement.
2. Beautiful (Minnie Driver, Joey Lauren Adams) - really funny. Thank goodness Miss Adams never went into psycho-crying mode like in Chasing Amy. That was so painful.
3. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - weird, good, but not that good.
4. Arsenic and Old Lace (Cary Grant, Teddy Roosevelt)- hilarious in that classic movie way. Source of a favorite quote of mine: "Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops."
5. Call Northside 777 (Jimmy Stewart again) - interesting to watch, not action packed or anything. I thought he'd get in trouble with the mob or something, but Jimmy never ran into anything worse than hostility and one gun.
6. Lemony Snicket's... - didn't like it, I'm sorry to say. I didn't hate it, but I wasn't charmed.
7. Bottle Rocket - not my favorite Wes Anderson by a long shot, but interesting.


I also rewatched some movies. I highly recommend them all:
Garden State - after my second viewing I bit the bullet and bought the overly popular soundtrack.
Harvey - hilarious Jimmy Stewart movie. Has great composition in parts, styled like a play being filmed rather than just a movie.
Rear Window - classic. Can you tell I've become a big Jimmy Stewart fan?
Royal Tenenbaums - My favorite Wes Anderson film (I haven't seen the new one yet).
Men in Black - I think that makes 400 times I've watched it.
Vertigo - This was my third viewing. You need to watch it at least this many times to figure out what actually happened. Supposedly, Hitchcock was hunting for a replacement for Grace Kelly at this point in time. Kim Novak didn't make the grade, in my opinion.

As if having "Welcome to Moe's!!" yelled at you in the restaurant wasn't horrible enough, Moe's is trying to get God in on the act. If God is merciful, he won't yell it at me more than once.

Turns out I'm not getting myself a Fairly Oddparents Fishbowl for xmas, I'm getting something a little more entertaining.

(remember, you have to love yourself first.)

I just caught another fun bridezilla-focused wedding show: Always a Bridesmaid. Such fun, and they played the funniest song--

yes, I am a bridesmaid so I know love is blind
cause what they pick for bridesmaids is a heinous fashion crime.

It appears to be by Diedre Flint, since the lyrics are similar to this song, but I can't find the exact lyrics. The best part was "I'm afraid the jumbo butt bow won't fit through the chapel door."

Canada is really gunning hard to attract the disillusioned liberals to their frozen utopia (or maybe they're just gunning for human rights, but yanks may be a consequence of their actions). I'm already concerned about the oncoming Midwestern winter, so I can't even entertain the idea of a run for the border.

That reminds me-- contrary to what I just said, I am superpsyched about going to the Winter Carnival in St Paul in January. They have ice palaces! They have cool winter activities! They have a King Boreas who gets crowned and then overthrown at the end of the festival! I can't wait!

Hoorah! Someone is standing up for the rights of non-parents. I've often said they should have "grownup showings" of kids movies. So I like SpongeBob, should I have to sit in a crowd of squiriming kids to enjoy my movie? I think a 7pm cutoff is a little extreme, but I've endured a woman bringing her baby to a 10pm showing of The Hours, so I think somebody needs to start setting limits.

I don't think the picture quite captures the fabulosity of my christmas craftiness, but I'm so proud of my glitter-kitty tree that it's on display for the world to see (just above here, yeah-- the header).

(note- just the tree is my creation, the kitties and sign are actually gift tags that I got from the greatest stationery store EVER-- RSVP. I told you Iowa City was the cutest.)

I finished the fourth Gregory Maguire book (not his fourth, my fourth in order of reading), Lost. It's similar in style to his other books, and still fanciful, but it's not another fairytale-redux. I'll quote what I told my mother about it:

The plot is really odd. A woman goes to London to work on her new book about a woman who's mildly obsessed with the Jack the Ripper mystery, but then the writer herself seems to be a little obsessed with Jack the Ripper AND with Scrooge, which her family believes Dickens based on their great-great-great-grandfather, AND with her cousin who disappeared from town just as she arrived. Totally weird. At different times, it's a mystery and a ghost story and a love story and a tragedy. Really odd. My main problem with him is his tendency to have everyone pissing themselves, and talking about people going to the bathroom (in the fairytale books-- why did he have to mention when people used the chamberpots??). He has a serious bodily-fluids obsession.

This concludes my campaign against Wicked. It may or may not be a good Broadway production, but it's not a very good book. If you want to sample the Gregory Maguire goodness, please start with Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister or Lost or even Mirror, Mirror. Just save Wicked for last. Maybe if I reread it, I would enjoy it more since I have a better feel for the style. The question I have for myself is-- why did I follow up a book I didn't like by reading the author's entire collection?

Researchers can say what they want about pedestrians being less safe in the south than in the midwest ("Regional differences in walking safety are stark. Twice as many walkers die in traffic accidents in New Orleans, San Diego and Phoenix than in Minneapolis, Milwaukee and Boston.") But I have to contend that I have never been so paranoid about cars as I am here in Iowa City (see these articles for examples). With extremely high proportions of DUIs, and stupid young drivers, this is a scary-ass town to walk in. The worst thing (which happens every single time) is when a car actually stops for me (which I never assume they will and hope they won't because of this) they hit the gas when I'm about half-way across the path of their car. If I don't pick up speed, my ankles will get clipped. If they're in such a hurry, why don't they just zip past me so I can cross in safety? AAARGH!!! /rant

I am in fact, still alive (just writing a lot of term papers these days). And now I've found my christmas gift for myself: A Fairly Oddparents fishbowl!!! So cute.
I had a lot of success with a beta once (that bad boy lived over 2 years), but I think I'll downgrade to some fish I can keep in groups without them eating each other (but not goldfish, I can't keep going back for more).

If you didn't catch last night's Apprentice, but want a play by play of how ridiculous Maria was, this recap at tvgasm is hilarious. The highlight is the last picture with Maria looking like she might finally kill Wes in the cab.

(link courtesy of too much free time)

Why is it that any face that appears mysteriously must be the Virgin Mary? I saw CNN's picture of the infamous ebay cheese sandwich and thought, "that looks like some classic Hollywood star, like Marlene Dietrich." What's freaky is I can't say I've ever seen Marlene Dietrich before, but her name just came to mind. Then I found this picture of her, and the grilled cheese image is remarkably similar. Now that's mysterious.
There might be a better match in this Silverscreen Sirens gallery, if you care to look. All I'm saying is Our Lady of the Grilled Cheese may be a classic movie star, and the folks bidding on a half-eaten cheese sandwich may be crazy.

Personally, I can suspend disbelief and really enjoy a movie like The Day After Tomorrow, but if you're one of those poor souls who is tormented by the implausible-- the Insultingly Stupid Movie Physics rating system is for you. In their system, The Day After Tomorrow was rated RP for "retch". Apparently it was saved from an XP rating ("Obviously physics from an unknown universe") for being guilty more of exaggeration than total nonsense.

Kick ass: An unlicensed teenager who's seen too many action movies tries to flee a hit-and-run scene, only to meet up with some concrete company employees who've seen too many action movies... and have big trucks. Awesome.

(courtesy of FARK)