Alacrity

I don't quite buy this story about the parrot who busted a cheating girlfriend. It's a little too fantastic, but it's definitely a warning to cheaters: parrots are loyal pets and they'll bust you.

Also, I have enough trouble getting into a traditional elevator-- there's no way I'd get into one that was held up by "magnetic levitation". I want proper cords and brakes and everything between me and a plummet to the basement.