Currently listening to “The Internet is for Porn” from the Avenue Q original cast recording

While burning time in the airport bookstore, I came across one of the latest (I’m assuming, since I’m not in her cult) Oprah’s book club selections, Jeffrey Eugenides’s Middlesex which I read about two years ago. I felt pride in the fact that I had made an Oprah pick before Oprah picked. Seriously folks, it’s an epic read, sprawling through families and time, but it’s pretty rewarding. Pick it up sometime if you haven’t already.

On the subject of books, I’m sad that the Harry Potter series has come to a conclusion. I knew it was ending, but I can’t believe that it’s finally over, after roughly ten years. If only I could go back it time and reread Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows over again, but as if I had never read it before. One summer in college, I was subletting an apartment, and one evening I was going to watch When Harry Met Sally with a friend. One of the roommates told me that she wished she could be watching the Billy Crystal-Meg Ryan vehicle for the first time again. Harry Potter is kinda like that.

Your friendly librarian says toodles! Stay cool kids!

Baby Einsteins: Not so smart after all
I'm so glad to see a popular press article confront the ridiculous claims of Baby Einstein creators. The article was logical, cited relevant research, and didn't parrot any "conventional wisdom" as the gospel-- AMAZING! Now, if only people would pay attention and dump those stupid videos.

Obviously, we're all a little busy with grad school and grade school, but I wanted to try to resurrect this thing by making it easier for me to post stuff of interest (see the shared stuff from Google Reader above). Maybe I can lure Inessa and Agent99 back to Alacrity.

I'm taking comps in less than two months, so I definitely need a source of procrastination. Let's have some fun again!

Have you tried the new bars from Caribou Coffee and General Mills? Vanilla Latte is yummers. Next best thing to actually going into a bricks and mortar CC (which we don't have here).

Ugg season has descended upon us, and ugh.

That's all I got right now!

Have you seen that Citi credit card commercial with the Eastern European(?) man in the airplane talking about earning points while sitting next to a guy who flips numbers? I don't watch much television, but it's always on, and I find it totally unfunny and am glad I don't have a Citi credit card. Am I just not getting it? At any rate, I bitched about those horrid Dr. Z commercials and don't see them now, so maybe this outlet is working.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Sour grapes and mud

I was reading a classic Dave Barry article this morning that reminded me of the good times Agent 99, Inessa and I had in Virginia wine country. I definitely felt I was missing out on the nuances of plum and toast in those wines, but I was consistently able to pick up on the hints of credit cards and the aroma of buying too much wine while drunk.

I think it's strangely appropriate that my memories of that day has a background song: Kanye West's "We don't care". Good times!

We have a class clown in Cognitive Development this semester. He's included two very funny "psychological tests" with his reaction papers for the class.

Draw-a-pig personality test: Your personality revealed by a piggie.
Sleepy sheep reaction time test: How quickly can you stop the sheep?

I don't think real reaction-time tests have anything on the sheep test.

Checking out the view from the Empire State Building is something everyone in New York has to do, some unwritten law. Me and a small gang went at night but a word to the wise: if it's so cold and gusty on street level that you think NYC needs to steal the Windy City moniker from Chicago, it's gonna be a zillion times worse 86 floors above. At least the lines are practically zero at night. After a maze of ropes, people trying to sell you things, and two elevators, you get up there and do battle with tourists and couples making out (gross). So I was glad to say I've been to the Empire State Building, but I'd done Top of the Rock before at night, and they were pretty similar.

This frickin' idiot guy DROPPED MY PRECIOUSSSS DIGITAL CAMERA ONTO CONCRETE; I cringed, I nearly cried, I almost killed him. But the camera seems to be fine, to my amazement. Go Canon!

Thank goodness!

I did the "how many of me" search (thanks to web-goddess's link) to see how many Americans have my name, and I'm one of a kind. I've always felt really protective of my first name and I hated the idea of someone having my first-last combination out there. I don't know why, but my name is my turf. Also interesting-- there's only about 3,900 people with my last name. There will be even fewer over time, since my dad's line (at least four generations back) ends with my sisters and me.

For the record, there are 28 Parker Jacksons out there. Apparently my mom is better at picking unusual names than I am.

We talked a while ago about posting our favorite Pandora radio stations here. I finally created one that I'm just nuts about, and I want to share it. It's based on the performer Jem with a strong FrouFrou component and just a hint of Shakira. Inessa, being a Thievery Corporation fan, I think you'll like it. Anyone who likes slightly electronic, melodic, female songstress-type music should get a kick out of it. Here's my Jem station (let me know if that doesn't work).

I used to be nuts about The Baby-Sitters Club series, so it was a major youth flashback when I stumbled up the BSC books at my local public library. But they weren't the books I was used to; they were graphic novels. Many moons ago, I caught a blurb in Newsweek (where else?) about these graphic novels, thought about it for a nanosecond, and continued on with life. Now that I've seen them, I'm not impressed. What's so wrong with the regular old books? Am I becoming a cranky purist? Maybe it wouldn't have seemed so unnecessary if the art was fabuloso; however, I wasn't impressed. Maybe if Frank Miller of Sin City had been involved, the art would have been more stylish, but then again, the babysitters might be murdering each other. The artwork reminded me of the Timbertoes cartoon from Highlights. Oh, so I took the Which Babysitter Are You? quiz and was Kristy, um no.

Speaking of juvenile literature, I read The Giver, Agent 99, and it was good. I love books that are 1984-ish. But then I got Weezer's "My Name is Jonas" stuck in my head.

Oh great! Yet another way to procrastinate. Does anyone else find these amusing and at the same time relevant?

I'm surprised you haven't encouraged me to check out Gawker Stalker, Parker, since I know you are a Gawker girl. I think when it debuted, there was a big deal about whether or not a lot of the sightings were bogus, but it's still amusing.

Oh, I did I confuse Defamer with Gawker? Silly me.

Have you read Newsweek's cover story "The New First Grade"? Quite frankly, it frightens me to think about how competitive and stress-laden elementary school can be. Ugh. I don't believe I had homework in kindergarten, and I'd like to think I turned out okay.

Thoughts on Suri "Pickpocket" Cruise anyone?

Yeah, I'm alive! Thought I'd ease into blogging by dropping some linkage.

• New York options are simply overwhelming. To assist with that issue are sites like the handy dandy Yelp, which is much like Citysearch but not as jam-packed with ads. It's not just for big big big mondo cities; there are reviews for establishments where you guys live too.
• Almost to the point of being wack is the mass transit system here. Helping out is HopStop which I first heard about on CNN or somesuch. Just type in where you are and where you want to go, and the site will churn out the best way to get there, using what bus, what subway line, and when to just walk.

If you're a fan of Dave Sedaris, you're going to love this radio program: Americans in Paris. From last week's This American Life program. La Coquette gave her favorite moments from the program:

"1. David shops at the hardware store. “Hello, I am looking for a stick, that make the water hooot hot, today.” [Note from Parker: In France, my friend Dave had to ask the building manager of our dorm for "the thing for the electric thing in which you put your hats" meaning tokens for the laundry room.]

2. David and Ira see Judge Judy at the Puces de Clingnancourt. David loves Judge Judy, thinks she should run for mayor of New York, so when he sees her he goes “Oh. my. God.” in the most genuine, 15-year-old girl way possible. Making me feel that of all the soul bearing he has done up to this moment, this is possibly the most raw connection with him I have ever felt."

I have to add my own:

3. David's story about the German hotel and having a little misunderstanding about breakfast. I had a lovely German family take pity on me in Berlin and trade me cash for coin money so I could buy a ticket from the train system machine that only took coins (bless them for knowing what I needed just from my holding up the paper money and looking sad).

4. The surprisingly low-low cost of paper-mache body parts if you know where to look in Paris. And the surprisingly high cost of a taxidermied ostrich.

Need an official seal? (And really, who doesn't?) Look no further.



Link via 43 Folders

Inessa is making her big move to NYC today, and I hope she has an easy trip. In honor of her adventure, I'd like to share this throw-back to 1983: Sundae in New York. I don't know why I remember this clay-mation video so well, but I loved it back in the day.

My good friend and fellow (somewhat) unwilling Iowa resident, Heather, sent me this Dave Barry article entitled "When in Iowa, don't forget to duck"

Apparently, I've been letting my guard down. I knew the farm fields stink like manure in the spring, but I didn't realize they were trying to get me in on the act as well. Laura, Lisa, aren't you sad you didn't visit me this summer?

I like to pretend to be a food snob, so I try to shun chain restaurants, but I found myself having lunch at the Olive Garden a few days ago. The meal reminded me of a discussion Agent 99 and I had once about the quintessential chain restaurant. She said Olive Garden, while I might have offered up Applebee's or Chili's. Well, thanks to Wikipedia, Applebee's is the winner, with over 1800 locations in the US, while the Garden has under 600 locations. Chili's checks in with a respectable 1000 places to get baby back ribs.

I wanted to blog about the Georgia Aquarium, a place I visited earlier this month. First of all, it's in downtown Atlanta, a place I do not care for much. Be prepared to pay pay pay, $10 for parking (they must make a killing off that alone) and then tickets to enter and tickets for the 4-D show which is quite cheesy but wholesome family fun. You might feel like taking a trip to The Home Depot afterwards, seeing as the aquarium's mascot is an orange fish named Deepo, and Deepo starts in the 4-D show. Since the Georgia Aquarium is pretty new, everything is shiny and modern, but again because it's new and massive, it's CROWDED. People everywhere. It's kind of annoying because I felt like I couldn't stare at fish that long because people were antsy waiting for me to get out of the way. My advice is to wait a few years to go.

People had told me to read Life of Pi, so I did. It was engaging enough, but it didn't consume me when I wasn't reading, nor was I staying up past midnight to find out what happens next. Eh.

Now I need to plug Camper shoes. I bought a pair recently and am in love. They'll make a dent in your piggy bank, but they're just so cute and comfortable. Los zapatos son muy bueno! I hope that Spanish made sense.

Speaking as someone who watched Dawson's Creek religiously when it was airing, I was super stoked to be able to take a trip to Wilmington, North Carolina where the show was filmed. First stop was Screen Gems Studios, where they have somewhat preserved two Dawson's Creek sets (Joey's dorm room, Dawson's bedroom) for adoring fans to check out. You can even climb through Dawson's window, just like Joey did. The main attraction of the studio tour is sets from the WB's One Tree Hill. I had never seen that show before. It stars manwhore Chad Michael Murray and features attractive twentysomethings playing angst-ridden teens in a sleepy NC town. I watched one episode and was eyerolling my eyeballs into oblivion. After the Screen Gems tour, a stroll of the picturesque Riverwalk was in order. I think plenty of scenes were filmed here too. Not a very complete Dawson's Creek Wilmington tour, but a fair amount smashed into one day. I wonder whatever happened to James Van Der Beek and Josh Jackson?

I must vent my annoyance with Chrysler's Dr. Z commercials. I bet they think they're so kickass, but they're more like bloodboiling. Not funny. Are German accents supposed to be amusing? The ads must be stopped! At least I don't like Chryslers; otherwise I would drive far far away from them in my Honda.

Commercials are bothersome. That's what TV on DVD is for!

A few weekends ago, I jaunted over to the DC metro area for a visit/vacation, and I was able to check these places out.

• The National Museum of Health and Medicine. Seriously, the highlight of the trip, something right up my alley. Specimens galore. My personal fave was the stomach-shaped hairball. And best of all, it costs a whopping $0.
• Mount Vernon. Want to see where a smart presidential George W. hung his hat? Mount Vernon is the place to go. You could spend hours wandering the estate, and the Potomac views aren't too shabby.
• The National Aquarium in Washington DC. This was the biggest letdown of the whole trip. What charges $5 definitely should've been free. Just some tanks in the basement of the commerce building. Go to the National Aquarium in Baltimore instead. Please.
• Old Town Alexandria and Georgetown DC. Cute old neighborhoods with charming-looking shops and adorable townhouses.

Oh yeah, don't get gas in the DC area unless you like shelling out $3+ for fuel. No thanks. The Metro is convenient, and traffic sucks. Washington DC isn't one of my favorite American cities. Maybe it's because it doesn't seem like a typical city; instead of skyscrapers, it has the lone Washington Monument. To me, skyline=Big City.

I must've already mentioned it here, but reading The Other Boleyn Girl (by Philippa Gregory) sparked a big interest in me for Henry VIII's wives and children, and especially Elizabeth I (seriously, historical nonfiction doesn't get better than Alison Weir). That is why I'm so psyched for the movie version of the Gregory book, even if some folks don't like the casting. I'm also dying for the sequel to Elizabeth to come out, even though I didn't care much for the original.

Excellent: Winning Monopoly strategies: "Board game expert Erik Arneson has some great tips for winning at Monopoly; admittedly, there's a lot of luck involved, but if you can get some tried and true strategies under your belt, you can help that luck along a little."

Lifehacker pulls out a few of the best strategies offered. Boy, do I need strategies. No game gets me more competitive or more angry when I lose than Monopoly, and I always lose or give up in a huff. Now, if I could just find people who wanted to play me, I could finally win.

Who knew Macaulay Culkin and Mila Kunis were dating?!?!?! Apparently they also like to vacation in Israel, but have had to evacuate due to recent attacks. Who in their right mind would date Macaulay Culkin?!?!?!

Sorry I've been MIA lately. I've been hanging out with some awesome kids and took an awesome trip to Montreat, NC. We had a blast!! I don't have pictures, but we all know what happens at camp.

I'm back from my "great American road trip" through Mt Rushmore, Badlands NP, Devil's Tower, Yellowstone, and the Grand Tetons. It was a lot for one week, but it was a blast. Here's a sampling of the pictures with no captioning whatsoever.

(actually, one little caption- the picture at the end of the Beartooth Hwy set is a forest fire we saw in Wyoming near Devil's Tower, not near the Beartooth Hwy.)

Favorites:
-- Prairie dogs at the Badlands
-- Custer State Park and the Needles Highway in the Black Hills
-- Beartooth Highway (a steep ascent into the mountains of Montana where there was still snow)
-- The Grand Tetons (I'm a sucker for snowy mountains)

Best Week Ever had a link to a fab music blog post at Trees Lounge: http://trees-lounge.blogspot.com/2006/06/50-states-july-4th-compilation.html. I didn't know there were so many songs about Iowa.

On a related note, would my co-bloggers be interested in adding Pandora to this here Alacrity? Just a thought. I was having fun playing with it earlier and creating a Jay-Z station.

Ebert's no fan of the new Superman movie, and he brings up some important (and funny) questions (maybe these are spoilers, but it's not like we didn't already know):

"As [Superman] positions himself in flight, straining to lift an airplane or a vast chunk or rock, we reflect that these activities aren't nearly as cinematic as what Batman and Spider-Man get up to. Watching Superman straining to hold a giant airliner, I'm wondering: Why does he strain? Does he have his limits? Would that new Airbus be too much for him? What about if he could stand somewhere?

Superman is vulnerable to one, and only one, substance: kryptonite. He knows this. We know this. Lex Luthor knows this. Yet he has been disabled by kryptonite in every one of the movies. Does he think Lex Luthor would pull another stunt without a supply on hand? Why doesn't he take the most elementary precautions? How can a middle-aged bald man stab the Man of Steel with kryptonite?"

I don't think I'll be seeing this one anyway, as my date doesn't like movies with magic in them, but I already agreed with Ebert after just seeing previews -- Routh is dull and looks computer generated. They grow them right in Iowa, though, don't they?

Buy (and sell) handmade all in one place? I'm in heaven! http://www.etsy.com

Have trouble remembering to include attachments on emails? (You know who you are and you drive the rest of us nuts.) My strategy is to always attach first then write the email, which is effective 95% of the time. However, two clever souls have now fool-proofed gmail and outlook so that the email program alerts you when you're sending an email that mentions "attachments" or something like that without anything attached to the email. Excellent idea!

Courtesy of Lifehacker

Every night before I go to sleep, I look under my bed, just to be sure no one is hiding there. Sometimes I check the closets, too. Then, I feel silly and paranoid.... No longer! I'm going to check everywhere and not feel bad, because there are psychos out there.
This guy not only hid under the woman's bed for two days, but he also set up a camera (another of my fears I previously thought irrational), and had a bag containing "condoms, a power cord, a change of clothes and gloves." I don't even want to know what he intended with those supplies. Eeeek!
All freaking-out aside, this is a classic example of why you only give the valet the key to the car and not all of your keys. It's also an example of why you can't be nice to people. I'm so freaked out.

AFI is still going crazy with movie lists. This time it's the most inspiring movies. Here's the top 10:
1. "It's a Wonderful Life," 1946
2. "To Kill a Mockingbird," 1962
3. "Schindler's List," 1993
4. "Rocky," 1976
5. "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington," 1939
6. "E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial," 1982
7. "The Grapes of Wrath," 1940
8. "Breaking Away," 1979
9. "Miracle on 34th Street," 1947
10. "Saving Private Ryan," 1998

I've only seen 1,2,4, and 5 and I agree those are inspiring, so I'll believe them on the others. Personally, when I think of inspiring movies, I think of Legally Blonde which I used to watch on a very regular basis while preparing for the GRE, finishing my senior project, and applying to grad school. Seriously, when Elle studies for the LSATs and ignores the keg party, it used to empower me to no end. I could do it! Now, if only I could find a movie to inspire me to complete research projects and get published... I'll check out the rest of AFI's list.

Bored? I have something for you to try. We did this in class tonight with only one bottle and 4-5 mentos. It was awesome. But check out the video and then try it for yourself...you'll be amazed!

Via Lifehacker:
10 grammar mistakes to avoid
9 out of 10 of these mistakes bug me, the tenth is my personal downfall-- I can't remember lie vs. lay. Do these errors bug anyone else? I bet they do!

Awesome tip from Lifehacker (I've always wondered how to do this):

Save your PowerPoint presentation as a show:
"Loyal reader Mark writes in: If you want to really impress people with your PowerPoint, save the file as a .pps

This is a PowerPoint Show. Most people save them as a PowerPoint Presentation (PPT). A PPT shows the slides and the work that can be done on the presentation. By saving as a PPS (PowerPoint Show), when you double-click it, it will auto launch into the show mode. It makes it look so much more professional. I've always seen presentations where people open the PPT, then go to Slide Show > View Show. This cuts off that step.

Make sure you also save a PPT copy to work on it, but make your final output file a PPS.

Since, for whatever reason, PowerPoint presentations seem apt to go wrong, it's a great idea to cut out at least a couple of extra steps; not only will your presentation look more professional, but there's also less of a chance that something will go wrong between saving and presenting. — Adam Pash "

I am a HUGE fan of Dane Cook...he makes me giddy. I think you either LOVE him or hate him, but either way Tourgasm begins tonight on HBO. I'm excited!

Looks like a couple of taken hotties are no longer taken. Ryan Reynolds and Matthew McConaughey are both single!! If only Josh Duhamel could get rid of Fergie!

Movie Updates
After seeing The Da Vinci Code, my dad lamented that Paul Bettany might have sabotaged his career with such a cheesy part. However, having seen Dogville last night, I think he's still got street cred to spare. He just needs to avoid making any more Knight's Tales.

For the record, I liked him in Da Vinci Code because even as a scary, melodramatic albino, the man is still a fox. Overall, I hated Da Vinci Code only because it bored me to death. I already knew the story, so suspense was a moot point-- all I wanted was scenery and to be able to see the places featured in the book. When they skimmed over the effigies in the Templar church, I was so disappointed.

Since I'm talking about movies, I should add that Casanova was uninteresting and confusing (somewhat exacerbated by my falling asleep in the middle, but I don't think that was a coincidence). Over the Hedge was really funny and not annoying like kid's movies can be (when they have trite conclusions or forced conflict), but it was no Shrek.

Miss Jolie popped out future babe Shiloh. Celeb baby madness!

99, Kingston is a nice enough name. Do you agree? Reminds me of Jamaica though.

Should this have been a comment to the previous post or a new post? Parker will chide me if it's the former I'm sure.

Gwen Stefani FINALLY had her baby! I seriously thought she was gestating an elephant. I'm not a huge fan of No Doubt or of Gwen's solo career, but I love Gavin... so I guess congrats are in order!

For P:
Finished watching the 2005 version of Pride and Prejudice. Maybe I would have enjoyed it more had I never seen the 1995 version. Usually I like Keira Knightley, but she didn't seem right as Elizabeth. How was she nominated for an Oscar? And she and Matthew Macfadyen have zilch in the chemistry department. I read that Keira Knightley is dating the guy who played Wickham; maybe they should have cast him as Darcy, even though he looks like the poor man's Orlando Bloom. I told my mom (who watched this version too) that Mr. Darcy is supposed to be very handsome, and she was astonished. However, 2005 had some lovely cinematography and I liked its Jane Bennet better. The issue is the Mr. Darcy 2005 is dull and didn't seem very proud to me. Just dull and quiet. The ending is supremo cheesy.

(My favorite scene in the 1995 version is when Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth talk while dancing at the second ball. It's hot, but not blatantly so.)

In preparation, Overheard in New York.

Despite being only of interest to me, I shall continue with the lists linkage love and submit The World's 50 Best Restaurants, as compiled by Restaurant Magazine. Seems like my posts are all food related so far. Anyway, this post was inspired by a pal who told me of her desire to eat at Napa Valley's The French Laundry, the best restaurant in America and number four in the world. The friend said hell with the $210/person menu and crazy reservation system, incredible food is to be had. Of course I haven't been to any of the restaurants on the list [yet]. Someday. When I'm filthy rich. Gotta move to Spain!

My first post...woo hoo! Unlike my co-bloggers here at Alacrity, I read the TIME magazine instead of Newsweek. Unfortunately, my TIME magazine goes to my parents' house instead of my apartment, so I read the news a week late. Last week TIME reported the TIME 100: The People Who Shape Our World. Who was on the list? Dane Cook! My new favorite comedian, I had to pick a new one since Mitch Hedburg passed away. Check out his article!

Yay, my first post! I hope this is to your liking, Parker. I tried making these coconut rum balls, and they seem pretty yummy, but the true test will be taking them into work tomorrow. Will my coworkers gobble them down? Will they get drunk off them? I shall find out.

Does anyone use Last.fm? Is that worth looking into?

After careful consideration, I have decided to take this site from two regular commenters to zero by inviting my unofficial contributors to be my official co-bloggers. Start checking who made a given post, because it won't always be me anymore. The quality of this effort can only improve with their efforts. Welcome to the team, pseudoanonymous friends, Inessa and Agent 99.

New Atom Feeds

Okay, I'm being very bad and procrastinate-y today. Anyway, I just discovered I can do the RSS/site-feed thing with my page. I know I hardly ever go to my regular sites anymore, I just monitor them via Google Reader, so I thought for anyone who likes my stuff, but hates how infrequently I post, it's a nice compromise. This is the link:
http://parkerj.blogspot.com/atom.xml

It's easy to add to Google Reader. You're on your own with other aggregators.

By popular demand (from my only two readers): The Top 1,000 US High Schools.

First of all, let's hear it for #77, AHS! Let me tell you, when I presented a paper on this article in my cognition class I let it be known where we stood, especially since there were few or no Iowa schools on the list. What's up now, snobby Iowans?!

It's hard to hate a list that ranks your own school highly, but honestly, this list is pretty bad. My big problem with their ranking system is their obsession with AP/IB. My specific challenges to their article:
"Large studies in Texas and California done over the past two years indicate that good grades on AP tests significantly increase chances of earning college degrees."
--- I'm sure this is only established as a correlation, there's no evidence that AP scores cause anything. The same smart kids are both more likely to pass AP tests and get college degrees.

"That has led many public schools in disadvantaged neighborhoods to look for ways to get their students into AP... in hopes that their students will have the same college-graduation rates enjoyed by AP and IB students from the country's wealthiest private schools and most selective public schools."
--- Again, there’s a confusion of causation. AP classes don’t cause higher graduation rates for the wealthy students. Leaving issues of SES and intelligence aside, the wealthy students they want to mimic don't have any of the social forces working against them that the disadvantaged students have. Having AP classes on your transcript won't stop you from having to work to pay for college, reduce the challenges of being a minority or lower-class student, or change the way your home community values the importance of higher education. AP classes may help these students get into competitive colleges and get scholarships, but they won’t fix low graduation rates. /end soap box

Lisa and Laura, is this what you wanted?

In the last week I have suddenly gone crazy for a couple of They Might Be Giants songs:
Birdhouse in your Soul
Ana Ng

The first one and I go way back to summer camp in 1st grade or so, but Ana Ng is a new favorite. So darn catchy! I'm asking for their best-of album for my birthday. I am so late to this party.

Defective Yeti posted yet another funny offering, read it if you like to laugh at Montessori schools.

Woah, mama. Tivo is coming out with a new line that lets you record two shows at once. I wish I could justify having two tivos capable of recording three shows at once in a one person, busy as heck already, household. Really I just want the 80-hour memory to save more stuff. I'm a pack-rat even on my tivo.

Daniel sent me this picture. It was dark when the twister hit, but he says this is illuminated by lightning (it's also as the twister is picking up, I think). This picture is taken from Clinton St about 2 blocks west and 4 blocks south of my apartment.

Relevant news from CNN and the Daily Iowan

Damage report:
The things that made me the saddest were
- The crop of daffoldils that had just bloomed near the psyc building have all had their necks broken, so they'll be wilted by this afternoon (I snagged one that had been completely decapitated and I have a pretty little daffodil to brighten my office)
- RIGHT outside of my building, four or five large trees were completely severed at their bases or pulled up at their roots (and they weren't pine trees like we're used to seeing easily destroyed, these boys were sturdy)
- I haven't seen it, but I know St Patrick's church was destroyed which is really sad because it was one of the prettiest in a town full of pretty churches (the good news is the parishoners were all safe in the basement when it went). PICTURE

Funny things
- Too many people running around with their camera phones (I stepped into one guy's shot on purpose because he was taking it from a car and everyone is supposed to avoid driving in downtown, so it bugged me that he was gawking)
- A city cop trying out a new segway (who knows where he scored it, but his cop friends were all talking about it so I know it's new)
- a stop light was twisted and knocked over, but was still functioning, so I knew when I could cross as a pedestrian, but not which direction to go. PICTURE (yes, that's exactly the one I was talking about, but it's not my picture)

Destruction
- The ped mall area is pretty messed up. All of those buildings are 100-150 years old and many of them are missing chunks of their roofs now. Most of the buildings are bars and restaurants, but some have apartments in their upper stories, so I hope everyone's okay. The starbucks looks seriously damaged, so caffeine addicts mourn today.
- Everything is covered in dirt and pieces of leaves. A small price to pay for no damage in my immediate vicinity.
- I just found pictures of Iowa Ave, where a lot of students live and a street I traverse very regularly. Really scary, since it could easily have been my building with the roof missing, and since I stayed in my second floor apartment (hiding in the closet) it would've been serious for me if my roof had blown off.

The atmosphere is 60% tacky gawking, 20% construction site, 10% sad, and 10% freakin humid.

(I'm updating a lot because I can't get my mind off of this. It's not that I see it as a curiosity or want others to look at it as a curiosity, but it's cathartic to talk about it, even through a blog. I love this town and I hate to see the damage done to it.)

If you've seen the news today you know Iowa City was hit by a huge tornado last night. I'm fine, and my building is fine, but my nerves just can't get a break because I keep hearing about how very close the storm damage is, meaning how very close the tornado got to me. From the press-citizen:

"Cars at the Kum & Go convenience store at Burlington and Gilbert streets remained at the gas pumps, just as they were when the storm hit. Only now they were damaged and covered in debris. Stoplights at the intersection were twisted in the opposite way they originally stood."
(about 5 blocks south of here)

"Several large windows in the new Plaza Towers building were broken out, and police roped off the area." [three blocks south of here]

I'm going to walk to my office soon (classes are cancelled, but I have work to do!) I'll post again if I see anything wild.

Ask Lifehacker: Keep Google from caching my site?: Important tip for those of you who post under your real name, but plan to cleanse your online presence in time for employers. I went ahead and purged my name from this site and disconnected it from my personal website long ago to foil future employers who might google me, but I think I'll use this bit of code on my personal site so I can destroy it at will later on.

Google Maps the census: "This Google Maps mashup from AnalGIS and SRC adds census information from the 2000 census to the Google Maps interface we already know and love.
Just put in your address and you can quickly see the population, income, and housing statistics for your area in a 1, 3, and 5 mile radius of your home. "

What's really crazy is to pick a big city and see the demographics change as you pick suburbs. My grandparents live in Mountainbrook, AL: average income within 5miles= 107k. Just one click over in downtown B'ham: average income= 28k.

Hello My Name Is… Pint Glass Set: " Screw those twee little wine charms. These pint glasses let you claim your beer by autographing it with a grease pencil. "


Seriously, this is wild and so easy. Laura and Lisa may actually have things to read again (I know they're the only ones still checking).

(BTW:I had a really tough stats test this morning and anything is amusing right now.)

I just found out I can instantly blog items from my Google Reader list (there's a blogthis! option under more actions...) Crazy! I might actually start posting again!

Why you should shred credit card applications: Super-creepy experimental results. I'm glad I've got my handy-dandy $20 Target shredder, even if it is loud and scares me.

Random quote from my readings to prove I'm much too busy being academic to post here:

"Much of school is like having students practice the forehand, backhand, and serve needed for tennis, without letting them know what the game is."
-- Allan Collins on authentic tasks

"Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing."
-Randy K. Milholland

"I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth."
- Umberto Eco

(google's personalized webpages really rock, I'm swimming in daily quotes from them)

Where the hell is my chiffon?

Just in time for me to be too busy to watch tv, I have discovered Project Runway. Why isn't TMFT covering it much? Luckily, TVgasm has my back. By the way, is everyone aware of TVgasm? I hope I've mentioned it before. It's crazy-hilarious. I can read their reviews in five to ten minutes and get a lot more laughs than I would out of 22 minutes of the actual show, no matter how funny (Laguna Beach is a case-in-point). Their coverage of Grey's Anatomy is pretty awesome, too (though I wouldn't give up the actual show).

I'm really hoping I find a way to work in the above quote into my real life sometime. I guess when things get hectic later in the semester, I'll try it out on my officemates.

I don't quite buy this story about the parrot who busted a cheating girlfriend. It's a little too fantastic, but it's definitely a warning to cheaters: parrots are loyal pets and they'll bust you.

Also, I have enough trouble getting into a traditional elevator-- there's no way I'd get into one that was held up by "magnetic levitation". I want proper cords and brakes and everything between me and a plummet to the basement.

Be wary of anyone who turns up at your school demanding to be called "your grace" and claiming to be in line for the British throne. He's probably a nutjob, a sex offender, or both, as in this case.

2006 World Question: What is your dangerous idea?

There are too many respondents to keep my interest, so I just looked for psychologists I knew. These were especially interesting:

Richard Nisbett
Steven Pinker
David Lykken
David Myers
Susan Blackmore

I absolutely agree with Nisbett that we can't report on the reasons for our own behavior. I was already convinced of this by Skinner's About Behaviorism. Social psychologists and Behaviorists can finally agree on something!

I also agree with Pinker- groups differences, even if they are genetic, shouldn't be important. Knowing that women score lower on spatial reasoning tests on average tells you nothing about whether you should hire a particular woman for your job that depends on strong spatial reasoning skills. I think it's a common cognitive error to apply average group differences as if all group members were the same.

I agree with Lykken to an extent about parental licensure, but I sure wouldn't say it in public! Lastly, I agree with Myers. I hope in the near future, banning gay marriages will seem as ridiculous to common sensibility as banning interracial marriages seems now.

Link courtesy of Lifehacker

I was going to post a summary of my horror-story travels yesterday, but I don't feel like reliving it to tell it. Suffice to say, my 11am flight was canceled, I was put on the 8pm flight, which took off at 11pm, getting me to Moline about 12 hours late. Oh, and Daniel's car wouldn't start when we got to Moline, so we had to track down a starter kit at 2:00 in the morning. I don't want to fly ever again.

More pleasant, random aside: I'm so hooked on "What can I say" by Brandi Carlile. I need more friends hooked on Grey's Anatomy (where I first heard it). I think it's my new 50-times-in-a-row, relaxing study song. Previous such songs have been "Chariots Rise" (Lizzie West), "Maps" (Yeah Yeah Yeahs), "It's my life" (No Doubt), and "Selah" (Lauryn Hill). I have listened to each of these songs for upwards of 2-5 hours straight. "Chariots Rise" has been played 723 times in my windows media. Why do I do this? Crazy.

I should've mentioned this a week or two ago, but I don't think it's too late. I'm answering two letters to Santa from kids in Chicago through the Sun-Times. I'd heard about Operation Santa Claus in New York, but I'm too cynical to answer random letters at the post office. I went with the Sun-Times since they vet all of the letters so you know they're a real kid and really needy. Anyway, if you're in the midwest and looking for an excuse to drop up to $25 on toys, you should check out the Sun-Times program. You can still probably get the letters with enough time to ship the toys. If you're not in the midwest, there are obviously a million programs doing the same thing. I'm just psyched I get to shop for a Dora the Explorer doll.
(Daniel actually did some browsing for me and got heckled by a Walmart employee, poor thing, hahaha).

Oh, the horrors. I've become a regular Today show watcher this year, and I've often wondered how stable the anchoring lineup was. Now I see this news, and all I can say is ---Please, please, please NBC, don't let Ann Curry take over. She is the worst interviewer and I won't hesitate to go back to Spongebob Squarepants in the morning if I don't like the new anchor.

Hmm, maybe Katie could take Ann with her?

It's a week before finals, and once again this means more blogging and more websurfing than could possibly be healthy. Anyway, AHSers-- have you seen the AHS wikipedia entry? Who knew our school was so progressive in educating women and integrating races? It's probably a lot of PC-spin, but it still makes you feel a little proud.

Jump down, turn around, pick a bale of cotton

I'm bummed to find out that one of my favorite music class songs from elementary school is so objectionable. It's so darn catchy; I had it in my head all last night after reading this article. I always assumed the song was something that cotton-pickers sang, not something sung about them. Isn't that celebrating cultural heritage rather than glorifying slavery? It's all in the spin.

Freakin' ridiculous.
I watched The Lady Vanishes tonight and it didn't take long to realize that I've seen a movie of identical plot very recently. Two travelers on a closed vehicle, one falls asleep and wakes to find the companion missing. There's a psychologist on the vehicle to convince the remaining traveler that she imagined her companion. One traveler writes in the steam of a window which later reappears to freak out the other traveler. That's not all, but it's enough to show that Flight Plan is such a rip-off of the Hitchcock classic and they should list the movie as a remake, not a reference to the original on IMDB. And to think, I believed Hollywood still had some original ideas in them!

Yay, my mom was the star interviewee for the OA News's article on the Fall Festival. What Auburnite doesn't have fond memories of the Fall Festival? Apparently my fond memories start from '83 when I assisted my mother at the duck pond. Good times.

Lisa, were you aware that your alma mater's student president has declared himself supreme ruler and declared war on Washington U? Why didn't Emory do something normal and attack one of the dozens of colleges in Atlanta? Georgia Tech, for example, has mostly unrequited hate for UGA (see lyrics to "To Hell With Georgia", "Ramblin Wreck", and "White and Gold"). I'm sure they could spare some hate and some t.p. for Emory.

Fabulous and informative site: Charity Navigator. I used a much less fancy site to pick Doctors Without Borders as my charity of choice earlier this year. This site is much cooler, and confirmed my choice. How can you go wrong when they give a star-rating instead of making you decide how much administrative spending is too much?
I know gas prices have everyone freaked, but maybe some people will get the charity-donating bug from donating to Katrina victims (the red cross got my pity money this time) and will start donating regularly. I'm living off a grad student assistantship, and I can afford a little something every month. I'm just saying...

The first positive news story coming out of New Orleans: A couple of bars and one restaurant are still open in the French Quarter. Best quote in the whole article:

"Those girls are town criers, they are making sure everyone has got the proper news. One of them is a stripper -- and she is a good one."

(link courtesy of FARK)

Is it wrong to bring yet another blog into the world just because I came up with a name I liked? Well anyway, I did it and I intend it to be a dumping ground of links on educational research or just education or just on being a graduate student. That's all I'm going to say about that.

Let's hope Bush and his handlers don't hear about the Thai PM's brilliant new idea.

(link courtesy of FARK)

Roger Ebert knows how to dish it out in his zero-stars review of the new Deuce Bigalow movie:

"...Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" while passing on the opportunity to participate in "Million Dollar Baby," "Ray," "The Aviator," "Sideways" and "Finding Neverland." As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks."

(defamer has the back-story of the Schneider vs. Goldstein debacle here and here)

Fantastic idea: Temptation blocker allows you to block certain programs from yourself to increase productivity. I had a similar system in undergrad-- a piece of paper that said "get back to work" taped extensively over the monitor-- this is even more effective. It even blocks using ctrl+alt+delete so you can't just shut it off. Very clever!

(link via lifehacker my new favorite site)

Just asking...
What AHS c/o 2000 student (who claimed to have gone to college in the Sudan but definitely went to Auburn and just blatantly lied the whole time) got busted for second degree burglary and was hauled off to jail recently?

(all page six jokes aside, does anyone know who I'm talking about and have info about this? Laura advised not to post his name and Laura must be obeyed.)

I was just perusing my favorite site for reminiscing- Atlanta Time Machine- and saw this. Did anyone else know that there was an Atlanta White House? I know I never got around to doing touristy things while I lived there, but I've been all over Briarcliff. How did I miss that? It's kind of freaky. Maybe the "first lady" has a House of Yes Jackie-O complex.

Random comments on books and movies:
--War of the Worlds was an exciting movie, but the book trumps it by being both exciting and logical (and less than $4 at B&N).

--Despite what Ebert says about it, I want to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory again just to watch Johnny Depp.

--Elizabeth (1998) was an exciting film. Having just finished The Life of Elizabeth I did not spoil my enjoyment of the movie at all, since the plot bore no resemblance to the actual life of Elizabeth I (at least as told by Alison Weir).

--It's Audrey Hepburn month on TCM. If you've never seen it, try to catch Charade with Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant because Cary Grant is the greatest and it's as good as a Hitchcock thriller (even better than some, dare I say).

Hilarious scathing toy review for the Human Torch ATV. I'll take the easy route and quote the same portions Defamer did:

"There has never been a more ridiculously stupid and insulting toy than the Fantastic 4 Human Torch ATV (with Light-Up Headlights!). And this is why:

The Human Torch has no need for an All-Terrain Vehicle because the last time I checked, the Human Torch can f--king FLY.

Has anyone told the Human Torch that it might not be safe to sit on top of a gas tank when one is on FIRE? Nice message to send the kids, assholes! ...

The Fantastic 4 Human Torch ATV also has light-up headlights! Good thing, because there's nothing more useless than dark-down headlights. What does the freaking Human Torch need with headlights anyway? HE'S ON FIRE!"

I saw the Fantastic Four stuff at Walmart the other day. Couldn't they come up with anything for Invisagirl and Bendy-guy (no clue what they're really called)? Maybe those had already sold out... Good thing I had no intention of watching this movie and/or buying invisible person costuming.

Thank goodness. After years of saying "Hotel California" is the worst, most overrated song ever, I found some support. Not on this list of Top 13 Most Overrated Songs, but in the FARK comments about that list. Three people meantioned "Hotel California" as deserving to be on that list. I take my validation where I can find it.

Need a research idea? 125 Questions: What we don't know from Science magazine may help. Most of them are boring, "important" questions about curing cancer and such, but others are about dinos!

"Why were some dinosaurs so large?
Dinosaurs reached almost unimaginable sizes, some in less than 20 years. But how did the long-necked sauropods, for instance, eat enough to pack on up to 100 tons without denuding their world?"

and black holes!

"What is the nature of black holes?
Relativistic mass crammed into a quantum-sized object? It's a recipe for disaster--and scientists are still trying to figure out the ingredients."

(courtesy of FARK)

I am no longer in love with Iowa. The winter may have been surprisingly mild, but it is crazy hot here this week (hitting 101 on Wednesday). Plus on Saturday, this freak storm rolled in from nowhere with 80 mph winds that nearly blew me away. (The gust was so strong I went into frantic foreigner mode and asked the Target security guard if there was a tornado. I expected Toto to fly by at any moment.)

Right up my alley- AFI ranks the top 100 movie quotes. The usual suspects are represented, though I'm sure I could come up with some good ones that aren't listed.

Does anyone else watch Bridezillas on WE? The first season was so great, I caught the reruns this past year religiously. The craziness was usually subtle and you could sense that the girls were trying to put their best foot forward, but were just too wonderfully NYC-neurotic to keep it all inside. I think the key was that the producers were setting out to chronicle fabulous NYC weddings, but ended up better able to sell the show by spinning it as Bridezillas (much to the dismay of their bride stars). When I learned how the show originated, I knew there would never be a good second season.

I was right.

The second season premiered last Sunday and it bit the big one. I knew it was over from the moment I saw their new ad (which is also the new intro song). They lost all the spirit of subtlety and mostly classy neuroticism, and just went for the nut-jobs. The focus of this first episode was a psychotic (read:typical) 19-year-old marrying her boyfriend of apparently 1-1.5 months. In the first season, it was obvious who was getting a divorce within the year, and it was fun. This was just sad. Too much yelling, too much crying, no style... don't bother. Hope for another marathon of old episodes.

More interesting perhaps than Angels and Demons, my love of all things English was indulged through a couple of books I read while I was home last month. The first, a work of fiction, was The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory which I whole heartedly recommend if you don't mind mixing historical fact with romance (or 650 page novels). It follows Mary Boleyn from 1521 until 1536, chronicling (in varying degrees of fiction) the intrigues of the Boleyn siblings in Henry VIII's court. Only one of the three Boleyns has a happy ending, as you may know.

Having read that book and wondering what was fact versus fantasy, I picked up The Six Wives of Henry VIII by Alison Weir. She doesn't offer any credentials on her book covers, so I won't start citing her at conferences (not that APA would be particularly interested in my opinions on whether Henry VIII should have executed Anne Boleyn), but I assume she's not too far afield. For nonfiction, the book reads very much like a novel (which given the topic was probably not hard to do). It makes me want to head out to England for a little tomb and castle sightseeing.

Hilarious last item from the Daily Dish:
"Ashton Kutcher and MTV were really upset when one of their "Punk'd" missions - with rapper Lil Jon - backfired. Apparently MTV and Ashton spent a lot of money and months planning a secret operation. Lil Jon was supposed to be on a private plane to Las Vegas, but customs agents claimed he and his entourage were boarding a plane bound for Ecuador. Lil Jon was onto them within minutes. He recognized some of the actors posing as security, told Ashton to come out from the back of the plane, and said, "Come on, you can't punk the motherf--ing King of Crunk!" "

I know it's completely uncool to read Dan Brown because every idiot thinks he's a genius reading The DaVinci Code, but I just knocked out Angels & Demons in just over 24 hours, and I've got to give it props. Unlike the other book, it doesn't intentionally mislead you on who the ringleader is, it doesn't get boring in the middle 200 pages, and I find Rome a much more interesting base than Paris/England for the chasing. The plots are highly similar, so I guess I can't say Dan Brown is a fabulous author, but I like his stuff. I know there's not a soul left on the planet who hasn't read the DaVinci code, but if there were, I would tell that soul to read Angels & Demons first or instead of the other book.

What I really wanted to point out was that Dan Brown's website has a lot of great info (pictures, etc.) on all of his books. The best part is the two challenges on the site that were apparently part of contests at one point but are now just for fun. They're really quite clever, and even though I used someone's directions to get through quickly, I still felt smart solving some of the puzzles and sleuthing. good times.

Of particular interest to Laura- translations of what the professor says and what he/she really means. You'll need to refresh your memory for when you embark on your graduate career.

Love it-- Art collector has Sotheby's and Christie's play Rock-Paper-Scissors to determine who got to auction off his collection. Who knew this was common practice in Japan? I love it.

"Maclean said Christie's decided to play the eventual winner -- "scissors" -- after doing some research.
"A lady in Japan did her own research and she independently came with the idea that scissors should be the way we should go,' he said. 'I spoke to my own children and they also felt that that was the way.
"So, between us we decided to go with scissors."

I'm partial to using rock, so this is great news for me. Go ahead, make my day.

(via FARK)

Don't bake Alaska. Activists serve up 900 pound Baked Alaskan:

"Our congressmen, who take an oath to serve the people up in that House, are serving the oil companies. They're not serving us. And we're going to serve them baked Alaska."

I looove funny activists.

A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
by Mark Twain

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all. Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli. Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

(Liberal quotes link from Fark)

Laura's going to love this: Idaho passes Napoleon Dynamite resolution. I'm going to assume it's for real, because of the website, but this paragraph was too funny for politicians... though maybe not Idahoan politicians.

WHEREAS, any members of the House of Representatives or the Senate of the Legislature of the State of Idaho who choose to vote "Nay" on this concurrent resolution are "FREAKIN' IDIOTS!" and run the risk of having the "Worst Day of Their Lives!"

Some other highlights of the bill:
12 WHEREAS, the Preston High School administration and staff, particularly
13 the cafeteria staff, have enjoyed notoriety and worldwide attention; and
14 WHEREAS, tater tots figure prominently in this film thus promoting Idaho's
15 most famous export; and
14 WHEREAS, tater tots figure prominently in this film thus promoting Idaho's
15 most famous export; and
16 WHEREAS, the friendship between Napoleon and Pedro has furthered
17 multiethnic relationships; and
18 WHEREAS, Uncle Rico's football skills are a testament to Idaho athletics;
19 and
20 WHEREAS, Napoleon's bicycle and Kip's skateboard promote better air qual-
21 ity and carpooling as alternatives to fuel-dependent methods of transporta-
22 tion; and
23 WHEREAS, Grandma's trip to the St. Anthony Sand Dunes highlights a long-
24 honored Idaho vacation destination; and
25 WHEREAS, Rico and Kip's Tupperware sales and Deb's keychains and glamour
26 shots promote entrepreneurism and self-sufficiency in Idaho's small towns;

(courtesy of FARK)

Reading update (I'm supposed to be writing a paper on personality traits, so why not take a break for a book report, right??)
Just finished Vanity Fair (Thakeray) which was similar to Middlemarch in its Victorian soap opera type storyline- only edgier, and slightly less romantic (though it ended with the same note about how most lives are dull and normal, but that's okay). It was slow at times, but I fell in love with the characters (even the ones I hated). If you've got time for 680 pages of rambling, then go for it.

In a funnier vein, I'm now working on Honeymoon with My Brother (Wizner), which is totally stoking my wanderlust and making me plan pretend trips to Japan and jobs in Germany. It's not just about travel though, he's getting in touch with himself and bonding with his brother, which is a little sappy for me, but it's a quick read to get back to travel. Two funny bits:

"We hopped a ride with locals eager to give lifts on their scooters for a couple of dong, the world's most unfortunately named currency."

One of the suggested ways to get rid of street vendors: "Learn how to say, "I want to buy a kiss," in the native language. It's a surefire was to immediately drive most saleswomen, and nearly all salesmen, to the other side of the street. If not, you just found a potential foreign girlfriend."

A funny concept taken too far, so it's even funnier. It's the Dead Celebrity Soulmate Search. Tell the searcher a little about yourself (interests in world domination? poison?) and what you're looking for. Then get paired with a dead celebrity. I was hoping to get Elvis, but they skew political.

I got Leonardo DaVinci who showed mutual interest:
"What your date might be like...
If you've ever dated someone with ADD, you might have an idea of what to expect. Leonardo might suddenly disappear to work on an idea, or might change topics midstream as some concept or phrase triggers a new series of thoughts. Your best bet is to offer your assistance on whatever project he is involved in at the moment; then, at least you'll be able to talk a little, even if the conversation will mainly consist of being given a series of instructions by your overachieving master."

(courtesy of FARK)