I'm just not that into you

A man in my neighborhood, who I bump into more often that I would like, keeps saying hi to me and telling me I should call him/Myspace him. Look dude, it's been weeks since you gave me your business card. If I'm not reaching out, I'm not all that interested. And now I am almost embarrassed for you. Can't wait for spring when I can ditch my brightly colored heavy coat which unfortunately can be a magnet for attention.

This situation reminds me of the upcoming chick flick He's Just Not That Into You. That movie seems annoying. It's probably about people struggling to comedic effect and then having happy endings at the end. Plus anything with Drew Barrymore is bound to be bothersome. Especially when she talks about Myspace. Myspace is so dead! When was this movie made? It would have made more sense it were released closer to when the book came out.

My friends saw Drew Barrymore's mother. That's all I got.

Book versus movie: Twilight

A kind soul gave me Twilight as a present (at my request), and I finished the thing a couple of days ago. Which is better, better being a relative term?

My movie review can be found here.
Excerpt:

I don't know if it's the actress or how Bella is written in the screenplay, but I didn't care much for her. She wasn't particularly likeable or engaging. Makes you wonder what others see in her.

The Pacific Northwest locales are lush and splendid despite the damp. Expected in a romance, there's a lot of cheese. I would have liked more action sequences and less "What is his problem?" scenes. The vampire baseball game was my favorite.

I guess I didn't get the relationship. It seemed rushed and random, but I suppose that's just a cue for me to read the book, which is what Agent99 is urging me to do.

In the book, Bella isn't helped. She's someone you want to grab by the shoulders and shake violently, like the scene in Airplane! where the stewardess is freaking out. Girls who orbit round their boyfriends are low on my list of liked people. She just has no personality. Oh Bella, every boy at your school asks you out, and you're bummed since Edward won't make you a bloodsucker, boo hoo hoo.

Edward's okay. He's hampered by Bella making salivating descriptions constantly. Yeah, I get it. He's hot and perfect. Girl, you a loser. Here's how it works: Bella and Edward meet up. She admires his chest. Then her heart goes pitter patter. It's the same thing again and again.

The other vampires are badass. Alice is my favorite as well as Rosalie the beeyotch. The baseball scene and out-of-control van scene work much better in the movie because Stephenie Meyer's descriptions could use more clarity sometimes. Action-scene-writer she ain't.

I don't think I could date someone who is basically a walking block of ice. Ugh. But if he's that hypnotic, I suppose I could suffer frostbite.

I feel bad. I kept blabbing about Twilight before I read it, getting others to read it, and I don't even love it. Mrs. Meyer, you owe me some millions as commission.

Advantage: Twilight the movie

Twilight my fire

Agent99 and I saw Twilight on Friday. For two different perspectives, she read the book beforehand while I refrained and went into the flick with no preconceived notions. All I knew was that it was about a human girl and a vampire who fall in lurve, high school style which means brooding and intense looks aplenty.

High school junior Bella is played by Kristen Stewart who I saw in Panic Room. I don't know if it's the actress or how Bella is written in the screenplay, but I didn't care much for her. She wasn't particularly likeable or engaging. Makes you wonder what others see in her.

The Pacific Northwest locales are lush and splendid despite the damp. Expected in a romance, there's a lot of cheese. I would have liked more action sequences and less "What is his problem?" scenes. The vampire baseball game was my favorite.

I guess I didn't get the relationship. It seemed rushed and random, but I suppose that's just a cue for me to read the book, which is what Agent99 is urging me to do. It'll be a while, as I'm currently number 563 out of 1555 on the library waiting list.

As you might have known, this review is mostly an excuse to post a picture of the smokin' hotness known as Robert Pattinson aka Cedric Diggory who plays the vampire Edward. Whatever problems Twilight has, he makes it all better. I'm not sure I understand this recent craze for vampires (first pirates, then zombies, now vamps), but if they all resemble Robert Pattinson, then I'm down.

Ocean's Olive

Agent99 loves herself the mouse books by Kevin Henkes (who can resist Lilly or my fellow worrier Wemberly?) so I was a bit surprised that Mr. Henkes had penned novels for older kids. One of his efforts, Olive's Ocean, was deemed a 2004 Newbery Honor Book, beaten out by The Tale of Despereaux: Being the Story of a Mouse, a Princess, Some Soup, and a Spool of Thread by Kate DiCamillo which I haven't read at this point but will eventually. Reading the summaries for Mr. Henkes's other novels on his website, it appears as though they all deal with tragic loss.

That's a thread woven through Olive's Ocean. The protagonist, Martha, has her world jolted a bit when the mother of the recently deceased classmate Olive hands her a journal entry in which Olive writes about a desire to become friends with Martha. First off, I do not like the name Martha. It reminds me of Martha Washington, Martha Stewart, and a friend's mom. Just sounds archaic. I'll let Olive slide since I love to eat olives, and it was the name of the girl in Little Miss Sunshine. Ruminating on what could have been slightly mars Martha's family vacation with her grandmother on idyllic Cape Cod and gets the gal all mopey. Hormones, no doubt.

We're definitely not in children's picture book land anymore, with the inclusion of parental MSB (morning sex behavior) and a Martha's brother referring to another teenage boy as a "prick." The foulmouthed sibling also uses the adjective "shitty." Scandal!

The writing is a bit choppy, and the sentences don't flow well. A couple of chapters are even less than a page long. Mr. Henkes, don't follow the Dan Brown method of book composition! Martha simply is not compelling and lacks character. She's about as exciting as cucumbers. Do we really care that Martha wants to properly pay tribute to a girl who she knows nothing about? Though I have fallen for a particular description used by wannabe writer Martha: "[The sparklers] were like white hot chrysanthemums dripping onto the sand." It's beautiful because it's true.

More barely 20 boys

A pal invited me to a free screening of The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. The best part of this lackluster violent children's movie is the eye candy. The titular Prince Caspian is trying to work that Viggo/Aragorn thing despite utilizing a terrible Spanish accent. My personal favorite was the oldest boy Peter, played by William Moseley.

Exhibit A:

This lad is a reasonable 21 years old. And the English accent! Can't beat that.

The oldest girl is played by a young lady named Susan Popplewell. At first she looks a little homely in school clothes, but in Narnia, she looks prettier and begins to resemble the offspring of Angelina Jolie and Miley Cyrus, if two females could reproduce together. It's the full pouty lips and pretty blue eyes.

Agent99, I think Miley Cyrus is going to go the way of Lindsay Lohan. You defend her now, but just you wait! And I still find it wrong that I know so much about this teen despite never watching her show or listening to her music.

I read The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe as a child and felt no connection. Similarly now, Prince Caspian was just a way to spend a hot summer afternoon in the cool comfort of air conditioning.

Goodreads.com

A friend told me about this website and suggested I join. Are any of you on it? I'm not much of a prolific reader anymore, but I might give it a whirl. And I still do have a book review that I want to post if I'm ever motivated to. It seems like there is a website to keep track of everything, from books read to music heard to movies seen, and so forth.

Booker It

I've actually started reading for fun again, magazines not counting. Inspired about a recent discussion at work about the Booker Prize (the UK's top fiction award for writers from The Commonwealth meaning no Americans), I've decided to try and read one book from each year of my life that has either won or made the shortlist. Already I'm on my way. It's funny because the book I was reading and put on hiatus and the one I'm knee deep in now are both Booker books. I need to catch up on my Newbery Medals too. Too many books!

Dumbledore is a friend of Dorothy.

I never thought about Dumbledore's love life but JK dropped the bomb here. He just seemed like one of those fellows who never marries. What do you guys think?

Bible Beltin'

Today I walked by a man on the corner who was handing out tiny green Bibles. "Would you like a copy of the New Testament?"
I waved my hand. "No thanks."
For a second, I felt like I was in the south again.
And then I saw another man dispensing Bibles on the next corner. I'm not sure how much success they were having.

This reminds me of how when I stayed at a Hilton this past summer, there was a copy of Conrad Hilton's book about founding his hotels or whatnot. Obviously I had alternative reading material. At least it wasn't Paris's "writing."

My foodie friend A.L. recommended that I read Ruth Reichl’s Garlic and Sapphires: The Secret Life of a Critic in Disguise, and for that I salute her. In addition to being a tell-all by a reviewer, I believe it’s also secretly a promo for NYC restaurants being as I was practically salivating all over the glorious food descriptions; Reichl is truly talented at critiquing meals and establishments. I wish I had some foie gras now! While donning a bunch of different disguises and dining at luxurious restaurants sounds appealing, we the readers find that it is quickly draining, especially at such a high-profile daily as The New York Times. As an added bonus are some recipes from Reichl’s own person stash, recipes that don’t look too daunting and sound reasonable. A common theme in the memoir is that there is a balance between total food snob and one who is more proletarian. It reminds me of the dead chef in Ratatouille (yes, I know I won’t shut up about that delightful little film), Gusteau, who champions the notion that “Anyone can cook” or in this case, anyone can enjoy food. You don’t even have to be a food warrior who tries to trip up young sommeliers to appreciate food. Eat what you like! I’m down with that.

Tune listening to while typing this: "And I was a Boy from School" by Hot Chip

I'm liking this. Parker's writing about school, and I'm writing about entertainment. Hehe.

I snapped up a free copy of Alice Sebold's The Lovely Bones (or The Lovely Bores, as I think it should be retitled). It was no great shakes, and it baffles me why it was so popular. And it was surprising to learn that Peter Jackson bought the movie rights, and my boyfriend Ryan Gosling is starring as the father. Maybe they can turn this ship 'round, but I'm not holding my breath. Anyway, the novel is about Susie Salmon who is murdered by a creepy neighbor and how she's looking down on her family from Heaven. My problem is that you don't really care about the Salmon family and they're boring. Each character isn't particularly developed. You have the hellbent father, slutty mother, drink-swilling grandma, brainy sister, and garden gnome brother. Susie becomes super obsessed with this hot Indian boy she smooched once. I bet there are boatloads of studs to lock lips with in Heaven. Oh well, at least it's finished now so I can move onto a better read. I don't know why I insist on punishing myself like this.

Currently listening to “The Internet is for Porn” from the Avenue Q original cast recording

While burning time in the airport bookstore, I came across one of the latest (I’m assuming, since I’m not in her cult) Oprah’s book club selections, Jeffrey Eugenides’s Middlesex which I read about two years ago. I felt pride in the fact that I had made an Oprah pick before Oprah picked. Seriously folks, it’s an epic read, sprawling through families and time, but it’s pretty rewarding. Pick it up sometime if you haven’t already.

On the subject of books, I’m sad that the Harry Potter series has come to a conclusion. I knew it was ending, but I can’t believe that it’s finally over, after roughly ten years. If only I could go back it time and reread Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows over again, but as if I had never read it before. One summer in college, I was subletting an apartment, and one evening I was going to watch When Harry Met Sally with a friend. One of the roommates told me that she wished she could be watching the Billy Crystal-Meg Ryan vehicle for the first time again. Harry Potter is kinda like that.

Your friendly librarian says toodles! Stay cool kids!