Right up my alley- AFI ranks the top 100 movie quotes. The usual suspects are represented, though I'm sure I could come up with some good ones that aren't listed.

Does anyone else watch Bridezillas on WE? The first season was so great, I caught the reruns this past year religiously. The craziness was usually subtle and you could sense that the girls were trying to put their best foot forward, but were just too wonderfully NYC-neurotic to keep it all inside. I think the key was that the producers were setting out to chronicle fabulous NYC weddings, but ended up better able to sell the show by spinning it as Bridezillas (much to the dismay of their bride stars). When I learned how the show originated, I knew there would never be a good second season.

I was right.

The second season premiered last Sunday and it bit the big one. I knew it was over from the moment I saw their new ad (which is also the new intro song). They lost all the spirit of subtlety and mostly classy neuroticism, and just went for the nut-jobs. The focus of this first episode was a psychotic (read:typical) 19-year-old marrying her boyfriend of apparently 1-1.5 months. In the first season, it was obvious who was getting a divorce within the year, and it was fun. This was just sad. Too much yelling, too much crying, no style... don't bother. Hope for another marathon of old episodes.

More interesting perhaps than Angels and Demons, my love of all things English was indulged through a couple of books I read while I was home last month. The first, a work of fiction, was The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory which I whole heartedly recommend if you don't mind mixing historical fact with romance (or 650 page novels). It follows Mary Boleyn from 1521 until 1536, chronicling (in varying degrees of fiction) the intrigues of the Boleyn siblings in Henry VIII's court. Only one of the three Boleyns has a happy ending, as you may know.

Having read that book and wondering what was fact versus fantasy, I picked up The Six Wives of Henry VIII by Alison Weir. She doesn't offer any credentials on her book covers, so I won't start citing her at conferences (not that APA would be particularly interested in my opinions on whether Henry VIII should have executed Anne Boleyn), but I assume she's not too far afield. For nonfiction, the book reads very much like a novel (which given the topic was probably not hard to do). It makes me want to head out to England for a little tomb and castle sightseeing.

Hilarious last item from the Daily Dish:
"Ashton Kutcher and MTV were really upset when one of their "Punk'd" missions - with rapper Lil Jon - backfired. Apparently MTV and Ashton spent a lot of money and months planning a secret operation. Lil Jon was supposed to be on a private plane to Las Vegas, but customs agents claimed he and his entourage were boarding a plane bound for Ecuador. Lil Jon was onto them within minutes. He recognized some of the actors posing as security, told Ashton to come out from the back of the plane, and said, "Come on, you can't punk the motherf--ing King of Crunk!" "

I know it's completely uncool to read Dan Brown because every idiot thinks he's a genius reading The DaVinci Code, but I just knocked out Angels & Demons in just over 24 hours, and I've got to give it props. Unlike the other book, it doesn't intentionally mislead you on who the ringleader is, it doesn't get boring in the middle 200 pages, and I find Rome a much more interesting base than Paris/England for the chasing. The plots are highly similar, so I guess I can't say Dan Brown is a fabulous author, but I like his stuff. I know there's not a soul left on the planet who hasn't read the DaVinci code, but if there were, I would tell that soul to read Angels & Demons first or instead of the other book.

What I really wanted to point out was that Dan Brown's website has a lot of great info (pictures, etc.) on all of his books. The best part is the two challenges on the site that were apparently part of contests at one point but are now just for fun. They're really quite clever, and even though I used someone's directions to get through quickly, I still felt smart solving some of the puzzles and sleuthing. good times.

Of particular interest to Laura- translations of what the professor says and what he/she really means. You'll need to refresh your memory for when you embark on your graduate career.

Love it-- Art collector has Sotheby's and Christie's play Rock-Paper-Scissors to determine who got to auction off his collection. Who knew this was common practice in Japan? I love it.

"Maclean said Christie's decided to play the eventual winner -- "scissors" -- after doing some research.
"A lady in Japan did her own research and she independently came with the idea that scissors should be the way we should go,' he said. 'I spoke to my own children and they also felt that that was the way.
"So, between us we decided to go with scissors."

I'm partial to using rock, so this is great news for me. Go ahead, make my day.

(via FARK)

Don't bake Alaska. Activists serve up 900 pound Baked Alaskan:

"Our congressmen, who take an oath to serve the people up in that House, are serving the oil companies. They're not serving us. And we're going to serve them baked Alaska."

I looove funny activists.

A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
by Mark Twain

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all. Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli. Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

(Liberal quotes link from Fark)

Laura's going to love this: Idaho passes Napoleon Dynamite resolution. I'm going to assume it's for real, because of the website, but this paragraph was too funny for politicians... though maybe not Idahoan politicians.

WHEREAS, any members of the House of Representatives or the Senate of the Legislature of the State of Idaho who choose to vote "Nay" on this concurrent resolution are "FREAKIN' IDIOTS!" and run the risk of having the "Worst Day of Their Lives!"

Some other highlights of the bill:
12 WHEREAS, the Preston High School administration and staff, particularly
13 the cafeteria staff, have enjoyed notoriety and worldwide attention; and
14 WHEREAS, tater tots figure prominently in this film thus promoting Idaho's
15 most famous export; and
14 WHEREAS, tater tots figure prominently in this film thus promoting Idaho's
15 most famous export; and
16 WHEREAS, the friendship between Napoleon and Pedro has furthered
17 multiethnic relationships; and
18 WHEREAS, Uncle Rico's football skills are a testament to Idaho athletics;
19 and
20 WHEREAS, Napoleon's bicycle and Kip's skateboard promote better air qual-
21 ity and carpooling as alternatives to fuel-dependent methods of transporta-
22 tion; and
23 WHEREAS, Grandma's trip to the St. Anthony Sand Dunes highlights a long-
24 honored Idaho vacation destination; and
25 WHEREAS, Rico and Kip's Tupperware sales and Deb's keychains and glamour
26 shots promote entrepreneurism and self-sufficiency in Idaho's small towns;

(courtesy of FARK)

Reading update (I'm supposed to be writing a paper on personality traits, so why not take a break for a book report, right??)
Just finished Vanity Fair (Thakeray) which was similar to Middlemarch in its Victorian soap opera type storyline- only edgier, and slightly less romantic (though it ended with the same note about how most lives are dull and normal, but that's okay). It was slow at times, but I fell in love with the characters (even the ones I hated). If you've got time for 680 pages of rambling, then go for it.

In a funnier vein, I'm now working on Honeymoon with My Brother (Wizner), which is totally stoking my wanderlust and making me plan pretend trips to Japan and jobs in Germany. It's not just about travel though, he's getting in touch with himself and bonding with his brother, which is a little sappy for me, but it's a quick read to get back to travel. Two funny bits:

"We hopped a ride with locals eager to give lifts on their scooters for a couple of dong, the world's most unfortunately named currency."

One of the suggested ways to get rid of street vendors: "Learn how to say, "I want to buy a kiss," in the native language. It's a surefire was to immediately drive most saleswomen, and nearly all salesmen, to the other side of the street. If not, you just found a potential foreign girlfriend."

A funny concept taken too far, so it's even funnier. It's the Dead Celebrity Soulmate Search. Tell the searcher a little about yourself (interests in world domination? poison?) and what you're looking for. Then get paired with a dead celebrity. I was hoping to get Elvis, but they skew political.

I got Leonardo DaVinci who showed mutual interest:
"What your date might be like...
If you've ever dated someone with ADD, you might have an idea of what to expect. Leonardo might suddenly disappear to work on an idea, or might change topics midstream as some concept or phrase triggers a new series of thoughts. Your best bet is to offer your assistance on whatever project he is involved in at the moment; then, at least you'll be able to talk a little, even if the conversation will mainly consist of being given a series of instructions by your overachieving master."

(courtesy of FARK)

I'm trying to find a fabulous stationery store online, so if you know of one, let me know. However, while looking for stationery, I found some things I love:
- Green kitty bag, how cute is it? I should make one for myself.
- Awesome little glass creatures (the night lights are so cute, but EXPENSIVE.)

People make such freakin' cute stuff. It blows my mind and endangers my budget.

The chocolate photos on this site are amazing. I'm starving for some good dark chocolate now.

My new favorite blogger, La Coquette, linked that site, calling Patrick Roger "the Willy Wonka of Paris". If you're a fellow francophile, you should check out her site. Who wants to post about Iowa, when some people get to post about Paris?

Cat accidentally shoots owner--So why couldn't Mike have used this excuse on Desperate Housewives? It would be on par with his girlfriend's dumb antics.
(courtesy of Fark again)

Nonverbal (and sometimes non-subtle) ways to get people out of your office. Hilarious AND useful tips.

(courtesy of FARK)

Some of my own nominations from the Oscar telecast:
- Most horrifying brunette: Renee Zellweger
  Runner up: Drew Barrymore and Mike Meyers
- Worst innovation to shorten the evening: cattle call. (Why did they have to line up the non-star nominees like cattle or miss america contestants?)
 Runner up: not even letting some up on the stage. (How much more firmly could they have told the make up winners that they really don't count?)
- Most monochromatic: Gwyneth Paltrow narrowly edging out Cate Blanchett (I think they're both to-die-for, but blondes should be careful of matching their dresses to their hair and skin tones)
- Sexiest acceptance: Motorcycle Diaries guy for best song (Jorges Drexler)
- Best running commentary: Defamer

Chris Rock did okay. The monologue was at times hilarious and at times embarrassing. I like his style, but I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't enjoyed by the masses. At least he isn't going to be crucified by the FCC-writing conservatives, that's all I was worried about.

"The awards don't really affect anybody's lives in the crowd," Rock said. "Meanwhile, the Nobel Peace Prize, there's no one there. Nobody cares what the scientists are wearing. What are you wearing Professor Allen? 'Pants!' "

I knew it was futile to hope that Chris Rock could host the Oscars without major controversy. However, I didn’t suspect the controversy to start a month before the show with implications that he might not even make it onto the stage. In great Chris Rock form,he isn’t backing down on his comments (though I wonder why it took so long for any kind of rebuttal to make it out). If he apologizes for anything, I’ll be sorely disappointed.

Nothing seems interesting enough to mention lately. I would like to offer some book reports though. I should really read fewer novels and more school stuff, but whatever.

1. Valley of the Dolls - Jacqueline Susann- I guess I've been reading too much Austen and Austen-knock offs, this unhappy ending was too distressing. I sobbed at the end of the book, I was so infuriated with it. I would never put up with that cheating bastard, Lyon. Bastard! Good soap opera type reading, but you may want some uppers like the girls in the book to survive it.

2. Jane Fairfax- Joan Aiken- A parallel to Emma, it follows Jane Fairfax's life. Really good. I found so much to love about Jane, except the secret engagement. Frank Churchill is a jerk. I had to reread Emma to see how well it paralleled. It was tough going at first, since the other book had me really disliking Emma, but I rekindled my love of Mr Knightley.

3. Mr Darcy's Daughters- Elizabeth Aston- Pride and Prejudice's sequel, set 20 years later. It seems she wanted to borrow some of P&P's casting with a moralizing sister, two trampy sisters, and the witty, pretty-in-her-own-way sister. The main character is no Elizabeth Bennet, but she's very likeable. At times, the book is a heavy-handed social commentary and is obviously intended to be a sketch of the intricacies of society life for the time. It's nothing Austen would have written, too many references to the bedroom, but it's interesting and a little saucier than you'd expect for an Austen knock off.

4. The Five Minute Marriage - Joan Aiken. Loved this book. Sultry, Darcy-esque Hero (hidden soft side, misunderstood, etc.) Exciting finale, and not too predictable. The heroine is a sort of Jane Fairfax, very likeable and easy to sympathize with.

5. Emma Watson- Joan Aiken- This was the first Aiken book I read, and I didn't like it much, so I didn't hold much hope for her others. I guess she doesn't like her heroine to end up with the parson, so she steered it against the natural flow of Austen's set up. Seriously, what Austen heroine would go for the one-armed naval officer she's barely met instead of the good looking local clergyman?!?

6. Sandition- Jane Austen and Another Lady- I read this a while ago, but since I'm recapping my Austen knock offs, I should mention it. It's a much better completion than Aiken's Emma Watson. This one has a really great climax, just like with Austen's books- I was in a panic thinking that maybe the hero isn't really in love with the heroine, and maybe she'll end up alone. But just as I'm giving up hope, he saves the day and is fabulous. Yay!

Verdict: I think Jane Fairfax is the only must-read for Austen fans, though I really liked the Austen-esque style of the Five Minute Marriage and Sandition.

Completely random aside:
Has anyone else noticed that the lead singer of The Killers is way hot in the Mr Brightside video? The right guy in eye liner... je ne sais quoi.

MY BOYFRIEND IS THE COOLEST IN THE WORLD!!!
Sometimes a strong southern accent can get you into trouble.

Yup, happy valentine's to me. I guess the nice Iowan who took 3XK's flower order couldn't understand that he wanted a silly comment, "I think you're swell." Of course, they also didn't understand the difference between your and you're, so maybe I should cut them some slack.