Alacrity

As I will soon just be a staff member and not a true Techie, I'm passing the torch to future Tech girls:
Here's a line-up of the hotties you can expect to meet at Tech. You'll find them scanning your ports, making weirdo comments to you in class, and emailing you to ask you out. As we say here (and as they say at Case Western, according to sources) "The odds are good, but the goods are odd."

This fine selection of Tech boys actually don't look that bad. Their market value plummets once you see them crouched over a computer monitor.