Alacrity

A holiday story from Dave Barry:

A HOLIDAY MIRACLE

Once upon a time, not so long ago, there was a little boy named Bobby. Or maybe Billy. Whatever his name was, his family was very poor.

''What is the true meaning of the holiday season, father?'' asked the little boy.

''Season's Greetings,'' said the father.

''Season's Greetings?'' said the little boy. ''What does that mean?''

''I don't know,'' said the father. ''But it's inoffensive. Anyway, the point is, no presents, OK?''

''OK,'' said the little boy, for he was a good boy.

As the holidays grew closer, the little boy tried to think about the true meaning of Season's Greetings, instead of thinking about presents. But it was hard, and he was sad. And then, one night, when he was lying in bed, shivering from the cold because his family was too poor to own a house and his bed was outdoors, he saw a light appear in the sky. At first it was dim, but then it grew brighter and brighter, until it was the brightest light in the whole sky.

''It's a special star!'' thought the little boy. ''Maybe it's a magic star! Maybe if I make a wish, my wish will be granted!''

And so the little boy wished that his family could have presents for the holiday season.

But then he heard the sound of a motor, and he realized that the light was not a star: It was a police helicopter with a searchlight. And the little boy was very, very sad.

But then it turned out that this was not an ordinary police helicopter: This was a magic police helicopter, and it had heard the little boy's wish. And so, using a cable, it lowered a crate containing $800 million in cash.

And the little boy's family had the very best holiday season ever, until the next year, when the magic police helicopter gave the little boy the power to fly and talk to animals, including fish.

THE END